Sun, 11 Jan 2004


  • Steven Frank: "Confidential to T-Mobile: NASA is downloading 36 MB TIFFs from Mars and I only get 2 bars of signal on my cell phone inside my house. Please look into upgrading."
  • Bruce Loebrich: "If I can't figure out the posting URL on my own weblog, I need to sober up to the point that I can."
  • Jeremy Hedley: "The tofu seller walks around pulling a wagon with various kinds of tofu and blowing the Pavlovian tofu-call. You run outside and buy some tofu."
  • Sean M. Burke: "What I think is the best approach is to change one's first name to a diminutive form. So if a "John Doe" builds up a richly deserved reputation as a blowhard and right bastard, but then he shapes up, he need simply 1) permanently change his realname in his email program to "Johnny Doe", and 2) explain the reasons for this to whoever asks."

:: 12:14
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The Magic Word:
The two elements in water are hydrogen and ______

I sent a letter to the fish, I said it very loud and clear,
I told them, “This is what I wish.” I went and shouted in his ear.
The little fishes of the sea, But he was very stiff and proud,
They sent an answer back to me. He said “You needn’t shout so loud.”
The little fishes’ answer was And he was very proud and stiff,
“We cannot do it, sir, because…” He said “I’ll go and wake them if…”
I sent a letter back to say I took a kettle from the shelf,
It would be better to obey. I went to wake them up myself.
But someone came to me and said But when I found the door was locked
“The little fishes are in bed.” I pulled and pushed and kicked and
I said to him, and I said it plain And when I found the door was shut,
“Then you must wake them up again.” I tried to turn the handle, But…

“Is that all?” asked Alice.
“That is all.” said Humpty Dumpty. “Goodbye.”