Sun, 07 Sep 2003

Peeve: Horn-blowers

I'm sitting in my living room, with all the doors and windows open, because it's frankly a beautiful day. The breeze is blowing across my face, the sun is high in the sky, my dog's asleep and I'm a million miles away from it all... and then some mouth-breather in a rolling barge pulls in front of the house three doors down and leans on their car horn. For a long time. They wait a few seconds, then they lean on the horn again. They get no response, so they pull their land-barge away from the house. I give them the nastiest glare allowed by law as they drive off.

Here's a thought: slowly lower the greasy Doritos from your lips, get your fat, lazy, American ass out of the muthafuggin' car, walk the five or ten meters to the front of the house and knock on the door. There, now, that didn't kill you, did it?

:: 14:59
:: /opinion/local | [+]
::Comments (0)

Sun, 19 Jan 2003

Carol Marvin: Don't Go Away Mad, Just Go Away

The City of Detroit finally restored a little sanity to the administration of the Detroit Electronic Music Festival by restoring control of the Memorial Day event to an artist-led group that includes Derrick May, Carl Craig, and Kevin Saunderson.

As one might imagine, this didn't go over well with ber control-freak Carol Marvin, who has issued a string of bizarre statements claiming everything from ownership of the festival name to rights to Hart Plaza on Memorial Day weekend, even going so far as to announce an alliance with long-retired boxer (and techno icon, naturally, WTF?) Tommy Hearns. Remember that t-shirt from a couple years back? "I had sex with Carol Marvin, and she ruined that, too."

Ordinarily I would simply recommend that she quietly withdraw from the fray to preserve a little grace, but she lost all pretense of class the day she fired Carl Craig in 2001, so that's a little pointless. Please, Ms. Marvin, let the artists and the real fans enjoy something nice, and go find something else to occupy your time.

:: 17:38
:: /opinion/local | [+]
::Comments (0)

This sad little lizard told me that he was a brontosaurus on his mother’s
side. I did not laugh; people who boast of ancestry often have little
else to sustain them. Humoring them costs nothing and adds happiness in
a world in which happiness is always in short supply.
— Lazarus Long