Sun, 11 Jan 2004


  • Steven Frank: "Confidential to T-Mobile: NASA is downloading 36 MB TIFFs from Mars and I only get 2 bars of signal on my cell phone inside my house. Please look into upgrading."
  • Bruce Loebrich: "If I can't figure out the posting URL on my own weblog, I need to sober up to the point that I can."
  • Jeremy Hedley: "The tofu seller walks around pulling a wagon with various kinds of tofu and blowing the Pavlovian tofu-call. You run outside and buy some tofu."
  • Sean M. Burke: "What I think is the best approach is to change one's first name to a diminutive form. So if a "John Doe" builds up a richly deserved reputation as a blowhard and right bastard, but then he shapes up, he need simply 1) permanently change his realname in his email program to "Johnny Doe", and 2) explain the reasons for this to whoever asks."

:: 12:14
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The Magic Word:
The two elements in water are hydrogen and ______

Inadmissible: Not competent to be considered. Said of certain kinds of
testimony which juries are supposed to be unfit to be entrusted with,
and which judges, therefore, rule out, even of proceedings before themselves
alone. Hearsay evidence is inadmissible because the person quoted was
unsworn and is not before the court for examination; yet most momentous
actions, military, political, commercial and of every other kind, are
daily undertaken on hearsay evidence. There is no religion in the world
that has any other basis than hearsay evidence. Revelation is hearsay
evidence; that the Scriptures are the word of God we have only the
testimony of men long dead whose identy is not clearly established and
who are not known to have been sworn in any sense. Under the rules of
evidence as they now exist in this country, no single assertion in the
Bible has in its support any evidence admissible in a court of law…

But as records of courts of justice are admissible, it can easily be proved
that powerful and malevolent magicians once existed and were a scourge to
mankind. The evidence (including confession) upon which certain women
were convicted of witchcraft and executed was without a flaw; it is still
unimpeachable. The judges’ decisions based on it were sound in logic and
in law. Nothing in any existing court was ever more thoroughly proved than
the charges of witchcraft and sorcery for which so many suffered death.
If there were no witches, human testimony and human reason are alike
destitute of value. —Ambrose Bierce