Thu, 27 May 2004

Too Funny To Be Imprisoned In The Linklog

Thanks Pietro:

Rumsfeld Fighting Technique.

:: 15:55
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Wed, 28 Jan 2004

THE PRESIDENT: I need some ribs.

This is completely surreal. Thanks to Dan Sicko for the pointer.

nb: this President has only held 11 press conferences in three years in office.

I have never been more convinced of the absolute necessity of voting in presidential elections.

:: 10:53
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Thu, 16 Oct 2003

Harmonies of Texture and Color

"A squid eating dough in a polyethelene bag is fast and bulbous, dig me?"

-Captain Beefheart

Observed approximately 7AM, at the intersection of Grand River and Washington Blvd., Detroit, MI, USA:

A man, roughly 325+ pounds (147 kilograms), wearing much gold jewelry, clad in a yellow-orange track suit, eating Cheetos and drinking Faygo orange soda.

I had no camera.

:: 08:18
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Sun, 20 Apr 2003

Memo to "J.T."

Hey guy, decaf next time.

I bet you think this song is about you
Don't you
Don't you?

Ease up, you're going to strain a muscle or something.

I'd still like to know who took it upon themselves to "excerpt" that silly little entry, with important context links (namely, this one) stripped, when I made a point not to send a ping. I always thought those silly licenses people attach to their weblogs were bogus and unnecessary, but if people are going to be dumbasses I can see the reasons, at least from a CYA point-of-view.

edit: Why operating a keyboard after a night of drinking is usually a bad idea. If you've got anything to say about this, post it as a comment here, and leave poor Sam and his readers out of it.

edit: apparently it's an automated referrer-chasing script. That restores my faith in humanity a bit -- it's good to know that no live human was involved in that appalling bit of context-free quoting. Excuse the "license" bit above as the rantings of someone operating under the influence of too little sleep and too much JT.

JT -- no hard feelings. Peace.

:: 04:22
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Sat, 19 Apr 2003

Unhappy in teh trunk? We understand yoo!

"This is the way, step inside"

Okay, so Dave Winer ranted, and Mark Pilgrim parodied it, and then Dave Winer, um, exploded, spewing Manila-fragments all over poor Sam Ruby’s weblog.

:: 20:31
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Thu, 17 Apr 2003

Stop the humanoid -- STOP THE INTRUDER

Mechanical Artificial Replicant Manufactured for Online
Sabotage and Efficient Troubleshooting

:: 10:26
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Wed, 02 Apr 2003

Kim Jong Il has a LiveJournal

Heh. This is pretty good.

:: 11:12
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Tue, 21 Jan 2003

Wheee...

Blake Ross is back.


:: 22:11
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Thu, 09 Jan 2003

Steven Seagal's enemies list keeps growing

Dumbass.In addition to film fans with taste and the Gambino crime syndicate, Seagal can now add "German Mafia and other nefarious underworld figures."

A-yup.

:: 09:40
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Wed, 08 Jan 2003

"But do I want to keep my subscription so that psycho paper girl can make a stop at my house every morning around 5 am, in the dark, while everyone is asleep? I think not."

Blogneighbor Team Monkey reports this harrowing tale.

:: 20:42
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Sat, 04 Jan 2003

The explanation

Keef

Dear Doctor Science,
Why is musician Keith Richards still alive?

-- Wendy Woollett from Missoula, MT

Check your data. The most emaciated of the Rolling Stones died from an overdose sometime in the early seventies, and was replaced by a resentful Chuck Berry, who just couldn't get past the irony of having to pretend he was a dead white guy in order to get paid well to perform his own music. But Chuck took to his new role with his usual zest and verve, eventually convincing even stadium crowds that he was Mick Jagger's pimply cohort, even affecting a plausible English accent.

I've been on the Dr. Science mailing list since the glaciers melted. The audio version is also available on many NPR affiliates.

:: 06:44
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Thu, 19 Dec 2002

Hee!

From: ware adams [yyyyyy@xxxxx.zzz>]
Newsgroups: public.mozdev.chimera
Subject: Has Chimera o.6.0 Crashed for Good
Date: Thu, 19 Dec 2002 13:54:17 -0600

I use,, used, Chimera on my eMac with OS X. Yesterday, 12.l8.02 it would no longer work, and is inoperable today, Thursday. Would you notify me if there is something wrong with Chimera, and when you plan, if you plan, to have Chimera back in working condition. Thanks, Ware Adams, 555-1234, Chicago Illinois. My mail =- yyyyyy@xxxxx.zzz


From: Simon Fraser [aaaa@bbbb.ccc]
Newsgroups: public.mozdev.chimera
Subject: Re: [Chimera] Has Chimera o.6.0 Crashed for Good
Date: Thu, 19 Dec 2002 13:25:28 -0800

Sure, I'll get right on it.

Simon

:: 23:56
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Fri, 08 Nov 2002

Feeling safer now

:: 12:01
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Mon, 23 Sep 2002

Things I Just Don't Get: Botox

Human vanity knows no limits, of course: that's a given. I still don't understand Botox, though. Paralyzing your facial muscles to prevent wrinkles -- dude, that's so f'ed up. You have to wonder how they figured out that botulinim toxin eliminates wrinkles. Did some old lady get a bad batch of canned goods and kick the bucket? Did the pathologist say, "Gee, poor old bird died of botulism-induced respiratory failure, but wow, her skin looks fantastic!"

:: 12:03
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Wed, 11 Sep 2002

Snoop Takes The Pledge

"Driving down the street / smoking... um nothing / sipping on ... um, milk and cookies / laid back / with my mind on my money and my money on my mind"

:: 19:00
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I do not seek the ignorant; the ignorant seek me — I will instruct them.
I ask nothing but sincerity. If they come out of habit, they become tiresome.
— I Ching