I found this one on a CDROM I found at a dollar store. They didn’t own the copyright either… Anyway, resizing it converting it to modern codecs reduced the filesize by over 90%, so here it is.
The ladies men admire, I’ve heard,
Would shudder at a wicked word.
Their candle gives a single light;
They’d rather stay at home at night.
They do not keep awake till three,
Nor read erotic poetry.
They never sanction the impure,
Nor recognize an overture.
They shrink from powders and from paints…
So far, I’ve had no complaints.
— Dorothy Parker