Everyone has their blind spots -- things that seemingly everyone else in the world already knew, but that they themselves were ignorant of. Over the last week, I filled in one of mine: the Corn Chip Issue. It's a really simple one with a very obvious solution: never buy off-the-shelf corn chips. Fritos, Doritos, and Tostitos are but a pale, flavorless imitation of something you can prepare at home for a small fraction of the money. Somehow, I never realized that all that you need to make tasty, crispy chips that rival the ones you get as appetizers at Mexican restaurants is a 99 cent bag of tortillas from the supermarket and a pot of hot oil. Slice the tortillas into wedges, drop them in hot oil for a couple of minutes, drain them on paper towels and salt lightly. Serve with salsa. That's all it takes. Really, it couldn't be simpler. Somehow I made it through decades without anyone telling me. In case your friends have likewise left you in the dark, I'm blogging it.
I used to live in a house by the freeway. When I went anywhere, I had
to be going 65 MPH by the end of my driveway.
I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights. Now it looks
like I’m the only one moving.
I was pulled over for speeding today. The officer said, “Don’t you know
the speed limit is 55 miles an hour?” And I said, “Yes, but I wasn’t going
to be out that long.”
I put a new engine in my car, but didn’t take the old one out. Now
my car goes 500 miles an hour.
— Steven Wright